Ryan Wallman: Delusions of Brandeur
In his book Delusions of Brandeur, Ryan Wallman takes a satirical swipe at the nonsense of our industry.
The book is beautifully designed by …Gasp! and published by …Gasp! Books. Here’s my 5 favourite spreads.
Millennials: Every 5 minutes a new generation is born. They always need a new name. Or ideally three. Despite always being radically different from the last they always hate advertising and they always have an attention span of milliseconds.
Awards: Work entered into awards must follow some simple rules. It must not have been created for a paying client or seen the light of day. It must be stripped of anything that makes it viable. And it must not, under any circumstances, be comprehensible to the average person.
Jargon: To sound like a leading figure in our industry you must use the same meaningless platitudes as every other leading figure. As a rule of thumb, claim that something tried-and-tested is dead and that something completely unproven is now future.
Lists: Everything in advertising must be arbitrarily ranked in a list. The something under somethings. The fifty biggest blah blahs. It doesn’t really matter. All that matters is that you absolutely, positively, do not tell the truth.
Taglines: Modern taglines must adhere to a simple formula. They must sound meaningful whilst also refraining from saying anything remotely specific. They must start with a verb. And, most importantly, they must use words that don’t naturally sit together.
